Back when the Internet was young, I once foolishly tried to do a kindness for a Brit who desperately wanted an out-of-print PC game that I'd just bought and found to be incompatible with my video card.

Serendipity, I thought, I'll just send this along and feel good about doing my bit for relations between Britain and the colonies. I filled out the paperwork and shipped it out (for a dollar amount I can't recall).

He was so thrilled that he ran through the streets telling everyone he knew about this new concept called a "philanthropic American." That is, until days and days went by and the package failed to show. It arrived in Merry Olde but never made it to him.

"Lost in Customs" was the most I could get out of our postal service, which seemed surprisingly reluctant to upset that brooding beast known as the Royal Mail.

My new buddy turned my unexpected kindness into a vicious taunt and went on a rant against empty promises and all things American. So in my attempt to do something nice for someone, I'd squandered my money and ruined relations with the mother country. That still stings.

Is the lesson "Don't Try To Be Nice?" I'm not sure. Either way, I hope you're able to extract yourself from this devilish bit of Canadian meddling.